Romans! It's one of the toughest books in the Bible to swallow. Paul begins telling us everything that is wrong with mankind and the world around us. All the sin that we fall into is listed out and Paul just reiterates how far we fall from the feet of God. Then he brings the good news in chapter 5 of how God loved us before Jesus and he had a plan for us. It is said that "While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (vs. 8). Meaning that there was absolutely nothing we could do or can do, that Jesus died for us just because God loves us so much. However, I do not tend to think of God in that way. In my head I know that there is nothing I could possibly do, or not do, to make God love me any less; but my actions show otherwise. Deep down I feel like I have to give God a good name in my life, that I need to do things to please him, and the list goes on and on. In reality, I should fear absolutely nothing (rejection, humiliation, failure) because God has PERFECT love for me, meaning that no matter what he will always love me and never turn his back on me. But for me it just hasn't clicked yet, I don't live my life fearless for Christ: I worry about what others think of me, I need to have relationships with many people to feel loved, I avoid circumstances where I know I may fail, I don't live as dangerously as I could. This is only a few of the things that I hold on to that keep me from giving everything up and living the life God ordained for me to live. While discussing this chapter, one of my leaders told a sweet story that really shows the relationship we have with God.

            He compared our relationship with God with that of an orphan and an adoptive child.  Let's say this parent's name is Mary and she adopts a young boy named Joseph. Well Joseph has been an orphan, living on the streets since he was 3. He was accustomed to the lifestyle that he had to live in order to survive each day that he encountered. Well, being adopted at the age of 11, he was not used to the life Mary was about to give him. Mary loved Joseph unconditionally. She bought him clothes for every season and some extras just for fun. She bought so much food for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and even some for afternoon snacks. She gave him a cozy bedroom with several toys and other things to keep him busy. Well one day Joseph was away at school and Mary went into his bedroom to get his laundry and in the corner of his closet she found a whole bunch of food stashed away. The reason Joseph stored this food is because for his whole life he never knew when the next time would be that he would get food to feed his hungry stomach, so he wanted to make sure that he would have food in case Mary ever stopped making him meals. 

Right after Matt finished giving this illustration I realized that I was storing things up in my closet "just in case," just like Joseph was doing; which is hindering my relationship with my Father. God loves us so much and will give us EVERYTHING, and more, that we need to survive in this world. However, we have lived so long in this fallen world, where Satan is king, being lied to all the time that we don't know which way is up anymore. We have so many things we hold on to so that we can ensure that we will survive "just in case" God doesn't come through for us. It's almost impossible for us to wrap our minds around the idea that God is going no where; that he will catch us when we fall; that if everyone turns against us here on earth, it doesn't matter because he will open his arms for us to run into; that if we fail, he will still love us as much as the times that we succeeded; that if we turned our backs on him for years, the second we glance his direction, he is there to save us and bring us back to him; even when we fall in love with the world and never acknowledge him, he still loves us. 

I don't think I have ever met someone that lives like they truly believe God loves him or her unconditionally and that was all that mattered. I sell myself short everyday when I don't let Christ love me the way he does. God has put the offer right in front of me, it is up to me to take it and live KNOWING that he will always be there for me and that his love is all that should matter to me. 

"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die." Romans 5:6-7

I know that I am not the only person who has a problem with letting Christ love them, but the shocker to me was that I never really thought about it until the other day. I thought that I was doing things right...heck I gave up 9 months of my life to live in a foreign place away from all that I know, and all for God. I do quiet times every morning, I pray to him about all sorts of things, I do my ministry 5-9 hours a day, I tell others about God, I do all these things that I am thinking God wants me to do. In my mind everything is going great with God... What else do I need to do? Right? WRONG!! Regardless of all these things I do for Christ, I don't do the one thing he really wants me to do...let him love me. Such a simple thing you would think, but it is so hard to live having complete trust is someone I can't see and someone who is not physically in my presence. The ironic thing to all this is that God is the only thing that will NEVER let me down or hurt me. I can't say that about anyone else in my life...

So my challenge to you, and myself, is to ask God to show you what you are holding on to "just in case" and then to give all that up to God. Let him free you from burdens that you have been carrying around for no reason at all. 

I know a lot of you have no idea what my days look like here in Swazi, so I thought I would give a short abbreviation of our weekly schedule. This could also help you pray for my team and the Kingdom of Swaziland throughout your day if you know what we are involved in and when we are involved in it!

Sundays:

            10:30-2:00 Church

            2:30 Lunch

            3:30-7:00 Ministry Prep/Free Time

            7:00-8:00 Dinner and Dishes

            8:00 Team Meeting

            9:00-?? Worship then bed

Mondays/Wednesdays:

            7:00-8:00 Showers and Breakfast

            8:00-9:00 Quiet Time

            9:00-5:00 Ministry

            5:00-7:00 Chores/Free Time

            7:00-8:00 Dinner and Dishes

            8:00-?? One-on-One Discipleship with our leaders/Free Time

Tuesdays/Thursdays:

            7:00-8:00 Showers and Breakfast

            8:00-9:00 Quiet Time

            9:00-11:30 Large Group Discipleship

            11:30-12:00 Lunch

            12:00-5:00 Ministry

            5:00-7:00 Free Time

            7:00-8:00 Dinner and Dishes

            8:00-?? One-on-One Discipleship with our leaders/Free Time

Fridays:

            7:00-8:00 Showers and Breakfast

            8:00-9:00 Quiet Time

            9:00-5:00 Team Ministry

            5:00-6:00 Team Time Sharing Timelines (our stories)

            6:00-7:00 Dinner Prep

            7:00-8:00 Dinner and Dishes

            8:00-?? Family Fun Night (whole team activities)

Saturdays: FREE DAY

Just remember we are 7 hours ahead of East Coast time until day light savings...then we will be only 6 hours ahead!!

 Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God, to a Christian says: No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by me, to have an intensely personal and unique relationship with me alone, discovering that only in me is your satisfaction to be found, will you be capable to the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings. 

I want you to stop planning, stop wishing, and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan existing, one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best. Please allow me to bring it to you. You just keep watching me, expecting the greatest things, experiencing that satisfaction that I give, listening and learning the things I tell you. You just wait. That's all. Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Don't look around at the things others have gotten or that I give them. Don't look at the things you think you want. You just keep looking off and away up to me, or you'll miss what I want to show you. When you are ready...I'll surprise you with a love more wonderful than any you would dream. You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready, (I am working even this moment to have both of you ready at the same time.) Until you are both satisfied exclusively with me and the life I prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with me, and is the perfect love. And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty, perfection, and love that I offer you. Believe it and be satisfied. 

If we could do it all over again, how many of us would choose to stay, "one hundred percent," sexually pure until marriage? I know there are several women and men who would love to have to chance to be physically pure, if they could.  Here in Swaziland, there is an organization called "CHERISH" where young women my age teach high school girls the importance of staying sexually pure. The leaders go into the local high schools and create small groups with girls who wish to participate, and then they go through a biblical based curriculum that teaches the girls about the importance of virginity and purity from God's perspective. It is an eight week study that empowers the girls in the high school to become leaders of their peers in this topic. 

"Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity."

1 Timothy 4:12

After praying about this ministry and the other ministry opportunities that were available, I felt God leading me to this ministry. I would like to think that if I had some older girls pouring into me when I was that age, I would have made very different decisions. I feel that in the world we live in today, it is so important for young women to feel accepted by Christ and view their virginity/purity as a priceless gift that they will one day give to their husbands. Knowing all this, I couldn't imagine my time being better spent than investing in these young girls lives and giving them advice about situations they will face in the future if they haven't yet. So I have decided to spend the next 10 weeks of my time here in Swaziland, totally devoted to this program, the women who run it, and the girls who will participate. There are three women in charge of the program right now...Swazie (24), Phumlile (22), and GuGu (18). These girls have participated in the program and have been trained in teaching the curriculum. These girls have such a passion for the "next generation" and their goal is to have an HIV free generation. They are such a joy to be around and have already begun to help us with the language and culture differences. Alene, Jess, and I are the girls who are helping out the Swazi's in the Cherish program. In addition to running the bible study, we are also taking it upon ourselves to disciple the female leaders (Swazie, Phumlile, GuGu) to teach them some of what we have learned and to learn from them and their experiences as well. I am so happy that God is giving me this opportunity...I know it will be great experience for working with girls in the future and practicing discipling others, which I plan to continue doing for the rest of my life. 

Prayer Requests:

• For Swazie, Phumlile, and GuGu to grow as leaders and prepare them for this upcoming session
• For the high school girls who are going to be in the study-prepare their hearts to be broken and rebuilt by their heavenly Father
• For the schools that were chosen to allow us to come in and do the bible study
• For Alene, Jess, and I to follow the Holy Spirit in our words and actions and to prepare us to teach as well and empower the Swazi leaders
• For our discipleship with the Swazi girls

Cherish

• Mission: producing a generation of cherished women who are faithful to God and will be faithful to their husbands.
• Purpose: to create a safe place for young women to study and follow God's instruction for sexual purity
• Vision: to see all "tinkhundlas" (communities) have a cherish group led by a female Swazi, who has finished high school
• Goal: to have an HIV free generation
• Life Verse: Isaiah 61:1-3

This is how Donald Miller, as an alien, views the world...

"Humans, as a species, are constantly, and in every way, comparing themselves to one another, which, given the brief nature of their existence, seems an oddity and, for that matter, a waste. Nevertheless, this is the driving influence behind every human's social development, their emotional health and sense of joy, and, sadly, their greatest tragedies. It is as though something that helped them function and live well has gone missing, and they are pining for that missing thing in all sorts of odd methods, none of which are working. The greater tragedy is that very few people understand they have the disease. This seems strange as well because it is obvious. To be sure, it is killing them, and yet sustaining their social and economic systems. They are an entirely beautiful people with a terrible problem."

When I first read through this it struck me as an interesting way to view mankind and an alien, that was only observing earth, could easily make assumptions like that. But when I went back and read it again, I was convicted! I realized that this made up alien was correct. This is how humans have been living for centuries, since Adam and Eve sinned. This is how I have been living my life as long as I could remember. In this particular chapter of this book, Miller points out how since the fall, we have a void in our lives that we try to fill by others standards. We seek the approval of our peers, wanting to be accepted and praised for our looks, behaviors, occupations, lifestyles, and everything else, instead of seeking the approval of our Lord. As I continued to read this chapter and then the next and the next, God just kept telling me that this is the reason I have so many problems in my life; that I desire others to like me and accept me for who I am. I know in my head that God made me just the way he wants me to be, looks and all; however, there is some glitch in the communication between the head and the heart.  I thought, for the longest time, that I was content and only needed God's approval, but that was far from the truth. I thought about my behaviors day in and day out, and I found out the most shocking news ever, that I lack confidence I who I am because I need others to tell me that I am beautiful, funny, intelligent, hard-working, etc. I was looking in all the wrong places for comfort and acceptance. Scripture tells me that God "made man in his own image, in the image of God he created them..." (Genesis 1:27) since God would not make anything unpleasing to himself, than it is assumed that we would NEVER be unpleasing in his sight. I am learning that when I think badly about myself I am putting down God and telling him that he messed up on the creation somehow. Logically that is not possible for God to make anything ugly or imperfect, so it is just a matter of me being able to believe it enough in my heart to look in the mirror and appreciate the beauty that God put within me and on the outside. 

"For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to SAVE the world through him." John 3:17

Ok, so today was one of the most amazing days of my life. I can't believe how much God worked on my heart today. Right now, my team is going to the various ministry opportunities to check them out and see if there is one we feel God is leading us to. Today, we went to a place called Hope House. This facility is a place where AIDS and terminally ill patients come to receive care and medication until they pass, or by the grace of God recover and can go home. However, the patients rarely have enough money to stay there (even though it is only 10 rand a night... $1.00 U.S.), so Hope House is not able to have a large staff. Sister Elsa is in charge of everything and there are two nurses and one gardener. So to compensate for a lack of staff, each patient is supposed to bring along some to take care of them, i.e. change their clothes, bath them, cook for them, change their linens, and so on. The patients each get there own apartment with two beds and a kitchen. One bed is for the patient and the other bed is for the family member or caretaker that comes with him or her. They have room for 25 patients and currently they have 18, most of whom can speak pretty good English. Oddly enough, there is one guy who can only speak German, so they have had a hard time being able to have conversations with him and get to know him. But it is a really neat place where people are finding hope...

My team went there this morning and we got a little background information from Sister Elsa, then she turned us loose and we had two hours to go around and meet some patients and talk with them. The first place we visited the lady was alone and could not speak or understand any English. She only knew SiSwati, her native language, so it was very difficult to have a conversation with her. But we were able to play with her little baby boy and pray for her before we left. The next person we came to was doing some wash and she as the caretaker of two of the patients. Apparently some of our teammates were with one of her patients, so she took us to the other one so we could talk to her. The lady she brought us to was Margret and she was a precious "go go" (grandmother.) She had been at Hope House for only a couple weeks, but has been sick for a very long time. When she arrived at Hope House she could not even roll over in her bed. She has been bedridden for a long time unable to move much. 

Margret is a beautiful 68 year-old with has one child and several grandchildren and great grandchildren. She has the most precious smile and was delighted that we had come to spend some time with her. After talking with her for awhile, her caretaker came back in and asked us to pray for her and her family, since she is from Zimbabwe (which is being destroyed by a cholera epidemic) and she has been looking for a job since she arrived in Swaziland. So we gathered around her and prayed for her, then we gathered around Margret and prayed for her. Margret only wanted us to pray that some day she would be able to get up and walk again. After we finished, Naomi, the caretaker, left again to finish up some more chores. One of the girls with me asked Margret if she wanted to go for a walk and she looked at us like we were crazy and said she couldn't. I felt the urge to push her and remind her that if she has faith, Jesus has the power to heal her and be her strength, but I was nervous that it was just me thinking that and not the Holy Spirit. Well, the third girl with me asked Margret if she wanted to try to stand up...then I knew it was the Holy Spirit so I joined in on the encouragement and told her that Jesus WOULD help her stand. Eventually we convinced her to try and stand up...and guess what?? That's right, God was so faithful and healed her. She stood up right before our eyes and took two wonderful steps. Then she just stood and savored the moment, I think realizing that God is more powerful than she ever gave Him credit for. PRAISE GOD!!! I was in tears because I could just feel the Holy Spirit there helping her stand and holding her up in her weakness. It was the most wonderful thing I have seen in my life. 

"That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be SAVED." Romans 10:9

But the good news doesn't stop there. Finally she said that her legs were tired, so she sat down. Melissa asked her if she died today if she was going to Heaven and she said yes because she knew who God was. So I was nervous that maybe she didn't truly know Jesus Christ... Well the Holy Spirit decided to do some more work and He forced me to ask her if she knew why Jesus came. She said she didn't know, so I asked her if I could tell her and she said yes.  The Holy Spirit spoke through me and explained to her that He came so that we could have a relationship with God and by believing that Jesus came and died on the cross for us and then was raised three days later than we are saved and guaranteed a place in Heaven. She agreed with everything I told her and I asked her if she would like to pray those ideas to Jesus in her heart telling Him that she believes and wants to live her life for Him. She did and is now walking with the Lord. PRAISE GOD!!!! This woman got healing and eternal life all in one day... I still can't believe it. As soon as Naomi came back in, she was even testifying for God's glory, telling Naomi that she stood up because of Christ. It was such a beautiful, perfect moment. 

I am still in shock of everything that happened. Ministry hasn't officially started, so I was not ready for God to move so vividly yet. I know God stretched me today and I was out of my comfort zone more than I was in it, but God was faithful and showed up in the moments that we asked Him to. I learned to always be prepared for Him to move in BIG ways. This moment also showed me to NEVER question the authority God gave me to call on His name and to NEVER doubt the presence of the Holy Spirit. He is always faithful and always there, we just have to have enough faith to recognize it!

"For it is by grace you have been SAVED through faith-and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God..." Ephesians 2:8

My team and I have arrived safely in the Kingdom of Swaziland. We are in the process of settling into our home adjusting to the extreme heat temperatures in a non-air-conditioned house. The past two days have gotten up to 100 degrees and since we are in the mountains, there is no breeze from anywhere. But slowly and surely we will hopefully get used to this weather (haha). Our house is very nice...there are a few bedrooms. All ten girls share a room and sleep in bunk beds on the first floor. The guys are upstairs in a smaller room with all the closets and their own bathroom. The leaders occupy the other smaller bedrooms. The girls have a toilet next to their bedroom and then two showers upstairs that they share. We have a kitchen and a common room, but no furniture or anything. We have entertained ourselves with fun games from home so far. All I can say is it's going to be a long 5 months :0) The rooms are very hot and it makes it hard to sleep, but we are thankful that we have a roof over our head and beds to sleep in. We got a fan the other day and it helps out a lot...however, there is talk of everyone investing in personal fans as well. The one amazing thing here is there are thunderstorms every night. Just the other night we were all our on the balcony watching the lightening far off come closer to us. It was the most gorgeous thing ever. The loud thunder rattles the house and the rain just pours down on the tin roof, while lightening lights up the dark night. And the rest of the country is pretty green and mountainous...it's beautiful. Another benefit to living here are the mango trees. We have half a dozen mango trees in our yard, so free mangos ALL the time; it's a nice snack in the afternoons.

Our leaders are going to check out all the possible ministry sights tomorrow and then they will give us a run down and let us pray about where God wants us and hopefully soon we will begin ministry.

Please continue to pray for my team and the Kingdom of Swaziland. If you don't know the king here is pretty much destroying the country by selfishly hoarding all the money for himself and not paying attention to the needs of his people. Please pray specifically for the people in Manzini (the city I live in) for boldness and the desire to break out of this molds they are stuck in. Thank you for all the prayers you have already spoken and the ones to come. God is always working and preparing the way for us...I know he hears and honors all of your prayers. You are amazing, faithful stewards of the Lord, continue to follow in the ways he leads you!!!

"The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives, and release from darkness for the prisoners..."

Isaiah 61:1

MY ADDRESS:

(make sure it looks like this or it will go to Switzerland instead)

JULIE ANDERSON

CARE OF ALYSSA BOLLES

P.O. BOX 5526

MBABANE, SWAZILAND

AFRICA