Why?
By Kevin Hass
Why
do they gather so religiously?
Why is it so important to them?
Do they want me; or someone like me?
Why do they tremble, tremble in fear, tremble in expecation?
Why do they talk so little and share even less?
Why do they buy my facade? Can they see me? Do i want them
to?
Do they love me, or their reputation?
Why do they argue…then remain silent?
Why do i hurt, why so deep?
Who am i? Why am i here?
Who should i be? Why do i start to care?
They seem so far, so far ahead; how did they get there?
Is it too late for me; what is the “it” i am asking about?
Why can’t i care; why can’t i stop caring?
Why am i drawn to something i never liked?
Why do they seem so real, and so distant, so far?
Why does their life shame me?
Why do i want what i can’t stand in them?
Could
you be real?
Could you really care?
How could i dare?
Dare to trust what i can’t even see?
My walls are falling, their Life i’m wanting, their Hope i’m craving;
Might you be real, might this story be true?
Why
would you come?
Come to change me?
Why am i scared?
How can i be sure? Sure you’re even there?
Can
you see my plight? Can you see my fight?
How do i stop? How do i give what i never knew i had?
Why me, why me, why me?
What in me do you see?
Why did they pursue; did they even care who?
Am i a name, a number, a notch?
Why is my life a mess? Wasn’t it a test?
I’ve busted every rule, are you a fool?
Why do i care?
Why did your Son care?
Why do you love?
Why send your Spirit like a dove?
Why if i fail, do they share with me Your Tale?
Sometimes
I care, I really care!
Why?
It’s a question I have asked millions of times throughout my life. Why
me? Why this time? Why do I care? Why not someone else? Why now?
Why can’t I be like everyone else? Why, why why? I believe that God
is the answer to WHY? God is the one who places burdens and desires on
our hearts. God has shown me so many times in my life why it is so
important to follow Him regardless of my own personal desires. In the
poem, a lost soul continues to ask why there is this burden on his or
her heart. I feel the same burden, but in a different way. I feel a
burden to help the lost and to help put their souls at rest by sharing
Jesus’ promise with them. Each day i wake up and face a decision to
follow Christ or not. The days i consciously decide to be an
encouraging witness to Jesus’ testimony of love are the days i cherish
most and get the most satisfaction from. I have tried to gain this
feeling by myself and through selfish desires, but in the end, it never
makes me feel whole or closer to God. This poem touched my heart and
hit me on the head and answered the ultimate “why” question i have:
“Why do You want me to go to Africa?” The answer is the poem…for
there are so many lost souls who go through the agony of wondering what
is out there just as the person in this poem did. It is heart
wrenching to know that I hold the answer to their questions, but i do
not testify to it nearly enough. I believe that God has called me to
go to Africa to deliver His grace, promises, and love. I also believe
that God is going to do amazing things through this Africa team and all
the missionaries with AIM.
“Why
are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my help and my God. By day
the Lord commands his steadfast love, and at night his son is with me,
a prayer to the God of my life” –Psalm 42: 5,8
